Thursday, April 28, 2016

Dog Drivers

I was about to get in my car yesterday when something big and brown went sailing by and took up the passenger seat. It was a dog, a chocolate lab.  I had seen this dog around the condo complex, but I didn't really know him.  

Come on, let's go.

Truth is, I didn't really mind if he rode along to the post office.  It would've been fine with me, but you can't just drive off with people's dogs.  

Well his person soon showed up.  

"Is that your dog in my car?"

"You mean he just got in your car?"

"I guess he wants to go for a ride."

"He's never done that before."

So, Harley found himself getting ordered out of my car--but not by me.  Dogs just can't have any fun.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

money

I see we're getting new money and they're ditching Andrew Jackson.  He hated paper money and I'm sure he'll be glad to be removed from the twenty dollar bill.  They didn't ask me who to pick for a replacement.  I'd have voted for Dolly Madison.  She makes really good cupcakes and baked goods--not bad at all for a dead lady.  So I think Dolly should be on the twenty.

But I also think we're going about this all wrong.  We should let people bid to have their name and likeness placed on currency.  So, some millionaire could bid five million to have his mug on the fiver, for say, five years or so.  This could significantly reduce our debt.  

If they don't want to sell out, then I think they should get rid of people on money altogether.  Rainbow trout on one, bald eagle on 5, wild turkey on 10, put a grizzly bear on 20 and maybe a nice elk on the hundred.  Why don't people blindly do what I tell them? The world would be a much better place.


Monday, April 25, 2016

if it sucks?

"What if your book sucks?" A neighbor asked me recently.

"What's your point?" I replied.

"Don't you worry that your book may not be any good?" she asked.

"Nope."  There is no such thing as an empirically good or bad book, I tried to explain.  It's only a matter if the reader likes it or not.  For example, some people hate my guts and will detest everything they ever see with my name on it. To them my book most certainly would suck--even though they would never actually read it. Why anguish over them?

Then, there are the folks that actually read it, but don't really like it.  Well, sorry, that's the way it goes.

Then there are the readers who like the book.  While I wish I could find a few more of them, they are out there and they're why most authors write stuff.

So, the notion that there is some universally good or bad book, I believe, comes from the mindset of school--where teacher handed down a good or bad grade from God almighty.  Truth is, there is no such literary deity.  

Did my neighbor understand my concept?  Probably not.  But I doubt she'll read any of my books anyway.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

"The Governor"

It is my great pleasure to announce the impending release of Lightships & Sabers.  I am a contributing author in this anthology which will be released May 1st.


Lightships & Sabers 
Edited by J.A. Campbell & Rebecca McFarland-Kyle

Women are born to handle crisis: from the routine tasks of running a household to commanding a starship. Lightships and Sabers features the stories of sixteen unique women facing extraordinary odds.

An inconvenient princess is appointed  governor of an unruly planet after everyone holding the office before her are killed.     [This is my story. Yay!]

One of the few fertile human women left not allowed to pilot a war machine, but she takes matters into her own hands when her brother is kidnapped.

A notorious female spaceship captain is charged to rescue a Baroness from an abusive marriage, but not all is as it appears.

Read these as well as the tales of thirteen other lucky (or not) women in Lightships and Sabers.

Featuring stories by: Jim Reader, Sarah Greenberg, Isidore Nettleship, Jim Kyle, Carol Hightshoe, R. Joseph Maas, CR Asay, Jordan Legg, Holly Schofield, Rie Sheridan Rose, Ted Pennella, Sylvia Kelso, Nicole Givens Kurtz, Doug Sanburn, David B. Riley and James Van Pelt



Saturday, April 23, 2016

Caulk

One of the neatest inventions I've ever seen in my entire life is caulk.  It's just wonderful.  I caulked my bathroom.  Then I found a few places along the kitchen floor that needed caulk.  Then I decided I needed to put some caulk around one of the windows.  Total cost $3.94. Best deal in home improvement.




Friday, April 22, 2016

Gorzon

Gorzon is an alien bounty hunter I'm working on.  Not totally sure what features he's going to have. Not entirely sure what an alien bounty hunter should be like. The only one I have to go on is the one from Star Wars. If I ever get it figured out I'll post him here.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Where does gas come from?

When I was little, a certain gas company used to advertise with some dinosaur that turned into oil. and then they sold the oil to my parents in the form of gasoline.  How nice to be turned into gasoline after millions of years. I'm sure the dinosaurs like being useful.  That's not true, of course.  Pete moss and similar plants, compressed over time, are what really created oil.  

What brought this on? Don't know, really. except I saw one of those old oil signs and got to reminiscing.